Coming Clean

I have no faith,
but I do have
HOPE
that one day I will.

I have little belief that the course of my life
is not up to me,
but I do have proof from my past
that I cannot CONTROL,
only Hope
give it my best
and leave the rest up to the universe.

Magic has happened to me
been given to me
many, many times.

Yet my expectation that I'll be given magic again
does not cripple
my Doubt
or my Fear.

"Why should I deserve more magic, anyway?"
says my voice of self-deprivation.

In my heart I know that everyone deserves magic.
Even if I sometimes declassify myself from "everyone".

Still, my urge to control is a
strong and unruly force.
Even if Magic
doesn't come
from Controlling.

I'm not very versed in
Hoping for Magic.
I'm much better at
Controlling for Success.

Maybe I should practice
a new method.