I'm a seeker. It's part of my natural disposition. Always looking for solutions to problems. Always striving toward better from worse. Always imagining what could be from what is.
Is this something I like? Something I'm proud of? Something that serves me well?
I'm not so sure I know the answer to those questions. But lately I've been off-roading from my usual route--the one that continually lands me in the same tired place of more questions needing more answers, more problems needing more solutions, with no puzzle ever complete.
I've been opting for the road unknown to me, untravelled by my tender seeking soul. The one that assures that my life is a gift made to be opened and enjoyed. Marked with signs that read, You Have Arrived, You Are Not Lost, and You Are Here (Can You Feel It?).
I'm beginning to believe that this road of awareness is enough. That I belong here. And I can rest in the realization that I can't control where it takes me. I can influence, I can hint in preferred directions, but even still, I'm always moments behind the ultimate truth that already knows where the destination ends.
How much am I left with when I let go of needing control, needing to seek, needing to do? This is a question that answers itself--no seeking needed. And on days when I'm actually willing to sit back and receive all the tiny gifts and golden flecks of beauty in life, the answer is so mind-blowing that I've got nothing left to do but smile until my face hurts and dance out in joy.