December and January were really hard for me. I found myself sinking into a deep hole of existential meltdowns and feeling completely lost from my purpose as a human being. If that sounds dramatic, it's because it was! And if you've ever suffered anxiety like that, you understand the darkness of that place--the hazy cloud that surrounds you as if there's absolutely no way toward clarity or vision.
It was the end of January when I received the most serendipitous gift of a month-long vacation in Israel. Throughout that month I slowly began piecing my sense of understanding back together and sorting through the rubble of my being for the parts that still looked shiny and true. It felt sort of like a Sunday morning in springtime with sun shining through my window and birds singing outside as I was slowly waking up from a bad dream. I was tossing and turning between nightmare and daylight, until finally there was nothing left to do but wake up and go outside--to join the beautiful melodies of spring...the joy that was all around me.
The Scoop:
This project is born from that place of waking up and stepping into the puddle of sunshine on the floor that's right in front of us. It's a game, really, to help expand our repertoires of joyful endeavors. A practice in forming the habit of doing the things we love and creating from a playful place. And since to me it always feels harder, as if there's more to lose, to do the things we love the most; the weapon we'll use to combat that paralysis is speed.
How many joyful endeavors can you do in 10 weeks? How many walks around the lake, homemade smoothies, or conversations with strangers can you squeeze in? If we focus on quantity over quality, fast and dirty over needing the perfect conditions, maybe we can let go of the excuses that often stop us from going out and doing whatever it is that simply make us SMILE. If we don't have time to wait for the stars to align, maybe we can get back to the youthful will of chasing fun until the sun goes down.
The Sort-of-Lengthy Video
Watch below for more information, and let me know if you want to play along. Your friends are invited to play, too!
The Free Joy Project: An Intro from Rachael Maddox on Vimeo.
The Resources:
*Jen Lee and Jen Lemen created The Portfolio Project in 2009. I'm *so* thankful for their trail blazing, and will be linking to Jen Lee's blog for refrences/guidance/inspiration occasionally throughout the Free Joy Project.
**I'll also pull some exercises from The Artist's Way by Julia Camron. Because why reinvent the wheel?!
Next Up
Uncovering YOUR joy...
9 comments:
Sister -
My free joy today involved making delicious fresh guacamole and sharing it with NO ONE. It's all mine! Mua ha ha. Nom nom nom...
~ Brother
P.S. - it's the GOOD cholesterol.
I love this!! It's scary - which means it must be exactly what I need!
This sounds great Rachel - how cool to get to watch you on video, too (someday I want to figure that out!)! I'm in. I'll brainstorm a list of joy tonight to start off the week.
love,
Carole
(from August Mondo Beyondo group)
My free joy in the last two days has included:
Dancing with my children, starting to read Eat,Pray,Love, talking to a friend (in person and at length with no interruptions is a big deal since we both have small children!), baking bread and making jello with my kids, giving fruit from our trees to friends, writing a letter to a friend, playing more music, going for a run in the wee hours and watching the sun rise, eating a Swiss chocolate, planting anemone bulbs, noticing the shift in the sunlight throughout the afternoon, and kissing my husband. Amazing what all I can "fit in" when I plan for it (I'm actually setting a couple goals for each day for what I can include in it that would bring me joy) as well as how spontaneous joy feels easier to jump into when I'm in that mindset of looking for it!
megg & carole! so glad you guys are up for the game.
carole ~ you're rockin' & rollin'! inspiring me to update what i've been doing! love it :)
I am in!! I think my best work has come from times I was playing with my art or my writing!
http://lauraludwighamor.blogspot.com/
Laura - I'm so glad you're in on this, too - looking forward to getting to know you better!
~ Carole
A little project long-delayed is finally underway; while out running I clapped and whooped wildly for a neighbor like he'd just won the world championship (doesn't know me) as he pulled out of his driveway on the way to work; I've found a mentor (or she found me...well, it's mutual, and that's the magic!); and the gas company refunded us $500 that we hadn't known was residing in our account (long story)! Yay!
Friends, how is this going for you? Has it been hard? Piece of cake?
I find myself not thinking consciously so much about joyful things to plan for this week, but it's like somehow making the decision to participate here has flipped a little switch in me. I realize that when I am faced with a couple options, I am choosing to be a bit more daring than usual in the HOPE of finding more joy (i.e. I was invited to a party where I wouldn't know many people and the person who invited me couldn't come at the last minute - did I go? Yes, I did! And had a good time!). As a family we're watching less TV, building with more Legos, getting outside more, inviting more people over and visiting them, watching ants and making friends with honeybees and gophers. Good stuff.
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