it's obvious & terribly true that showing up consistently is the kind of practice that turns distant hopes into present adventures. it's also the kind of practice that i've never felt more excited to do. and--that i've never done so easily.
why so much resistance to doing my work? is it laziness? lack of passion? lack of talent? no...not at all. it's stress about my adequacy and value. stress born from fear & resentment. stress that i'm slowly chiseling away at through tiny consistent steps of authenticity, trust, and ownership. ownership meaning: a recognition that this is my life--my very own and only life to live--and it's my choice if i'm going to carry myself as if i own my decisions and future, or as if the judgers, the nay-sayers, the well-intentioned-but-out-of-touchers--the others--do. i'm learning that owning my decisions is the bravest thing i can do--and no decision i make will be unforgivable. especially the ones that are honoring my truth. the same is true for you.
more & more, i'm allowing myself to trust that my decisions are valid despite those who disagree with them. i'm awarding myself the necessary space to be able to carry forward on my path without inviting in the hurt of those who don't support me. and in this, i'm stumbling upon another terribly obvious truth: it's a suicidal idea to give permission for haters (who for various reasons, still matter in your life) to enter your dream-sphere and hate on your dreams and what you're doing to reach them. you are much better off creating a safe and stalwart boundary between dream-haters and your dream-sphere. this is sacred stuff, people! it's totally okay to only let those in who will honor and respect your dreams.
so i'm in the process of learning how to protect my dreams without hating myself for not being 100% transparent with all people (a trait i value). let me tell you--it's been a strange but MAGICAL transition. it's helping me find the juices i need to bolster my authentic bursts. it's helping me walk my path. it's helping create positive emotional space that can make way for trust and courage, instead of constantly having to hold the anxiety of dodging bullets or patching up cuts & blows.
part of my journey toward abundance--with creativity, money, community, dreams--is about recognizing that it's a sacred and personal process that not everyone is allowed in on. part of my daily work, my showing up, must be about maintaining safe boundaries around my dreams. and as i slowly do this work--as i carefully weed out the haters--i'm beginning to find myself amidst a tribe of supporters who are willing to walk with me taking small steps, dream with me open-heartedly, and show up to the truth. no matter what it looks like or how it sounds. this is definitely something i'm willing to work for.