Monday, April 7, 2014

Make Your Art

Make Your Art from Rachael Maddox on Vimeo.

because the flow is healthy for your heart
because creation > consumption
because there's room in the world for your fullest expression
because braving the practice of seeing yourself makes space for others to see you, too
because art's relatable, and we all wanna feel the truth of our togetherness
because you can, damn it, so just do it
because once upon a time you were young and feared not the "good-enough" syndrome, and that part of you is still alive, ready with a vengeance to make up for lost time
because art Accesses Reasonless Truth, and the world is in need of this kind of wisdom
because avoiding your art is avoiding your power
because your soul is exquisite, simple as it is, and your art is its earnest showcase
because i personally want a window for loving you deeper

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

what to do if you have spring fever and no lover:

1. make love to your art.
2. make out with your sweat.
3. make openings in the earth.
4. make practices of growth.
5. make eye contact.
6. make amends.
7. make up a song.
8. make room for surprises.
9. make friends with quiet.
10. make peace with your body's edges.
11. make it mean less.

Monday, March 10, 2014

Record Winds Are Coming: For Jodi, Springtime, and Anyone Needing a Blessing

The sun shone for a good 3 hours today. Now, outside my cracked window, gentle rains hit the pavement like a cleansing shower. Perhaps we need more of this emotionality than we could ever imagine to be humane.

This song is for you, if you've had a long winter.
If you're not sure that you've grown stronger through all the trials of cold or gray.
If you simply miss knowing that there's a blazing heart of love somewhere, who wants you to feel deeply through your whole body how honestly adored you are for simply sticking around this long.

This song is for you, if you think you just might feel too much to be normal or healthy or human in the world in 2014.
If your feet are ready to be bare in the mud.
Or if your mind is longing for a tornado of fresh air to rearrange all the old stories that are straight-up breaking your heart.

SPRING IS COMING. Things are changing. You Are Changing. The world is changing to meet the new you you're becoming. This is the truth. No matter how stuck in the past you pretend to be, You Are Here, in a perfectly new spot that has new secrets to reveal if you stay open enough to hear them.

My dear soul sister Jodi's birthday is tomorrow. Just a few nights ago we were sitting on my bedroom floor cross-legged eating soup, feeling things. We have this idea that we'll make bumper stickers that say FEELINGS and post them all over the city of Portland. (The thought of putting them on stop signs feels especially liberating... STOP FEELINGS ... Haha! If only!)

This song is especially for you Jo, the Queen of Feelings, the edge dweller of joy and the deep diver of grief--born right at the crux of winter and spring, able to bend in both directions. For all your aliveness, all your truth, all your spacious sacred ways of standing strong in the rain, in the gray, in the bright blossoming new beginnings of joy. I believe in all your songs. I believe that you're meant for exactly what's happening. And I'm so thankful to explore the holy magical ride of being alive by your side.

Today, if you could comment on this post with the ways you wish to bloom this spring, I'll make us a collective altar. I'll write each of your wishes on tiny slips of paper, put them in a bowl, collect some fallen flowers from the neighbors' tree, and circle the bowl with the blooms and candles. The fire is coming, loves. How do you wish to roar? Do tell. Our collective song is stronger.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Being Less of a Somebody Makes for a Happier Soulbody

I didn't think it was possible, but alas... As I fell into a blissful nap this afternoon, after working the early morning shift at the bakery down the street from my house, I thought to myself, I have the perfect life. 

Mind you, I have a cracked tail bone, under $200, and no real goal of getting somewhere big. No love-of-my-life has strutted into the scene. No dreams have fallen into my lap.

But mind you, I also have a roof over my head, friends of every age, the time and space to dance and make art and light candles and read books and bake bread if I so well please. And perhaps, after all, those are the biggest dreams of all.

I have space. I have quiet. I have art and music and true friendship. I have freedom and my own small rebellion from all the projections of what I was supposed to become. I have a thousand acquired legos and I'm building my new home. (Which, by the way, has candles lit 17 hours a day, and walls that sweat with prayers and grace.)

And I live in a city where being like this--relaxed and healing-focused--makes me just like everybody else. And that, my friends, feels good. Freak flags are fine and dandy (wonderful! fly 'em high!), but living in the Freak City is proving itself to be the sweetest relief a girl like me could ask for.

That's all. Just wanted to pop in and report on life from my end. I've casually taken myself out of the internet-end of my business. Because hustling online for clients is not my art, nor my liberation. That's all I really feel like saying on that for now. I'm sure you can imagine. 

Also, since moving to Portland it seems I've been getting mail twice weekly. If you want to be pen pals, I'd so love to hear from you. How's your heart? What's your secret wish? The life you know in your bones would be your most authentic day-to-day? 

Write me here or on old fashioned pen and paper. I'd love to hear from you.

Rachael Maddox
8535 SE 16th Ave
Portland, OR 97202

Also, I'm doing an intimate poem-a-day project throughout 2014. I'm keeping it private to the public-at-large (oh, the millions of you that want to read my secret poems! ;)... but I'd be happy to send you the private link if you want to read along. Just email me at rachmddx at gmail dot com with WRITE YOUR POEMS in the subject line, and I'll send you the link. You are so welcome to sneak a peek, write to me about it, write your own poems, send them to me as a loving listener and support. All the good things!

Wishing you the happiest of 2014s... a year of truth and emergence, liberation and grace. xoxo

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

eve eve eve, with no need to apologize

i don't have normal words.

i have acrostic poems and sketches and ribbons of choruses dancing the gray-sky winds.

i have 1,000 homes and healing hips.

i have my mind and the chance for existentialism or grins.

i have the gift of what's come from giving up on where i'm from. trying less to impress. trying true to breathe through the anxiety of not needing to be somebody.

i have coffee, black and bitter.

i have books, better and better.

i have chest-swollen-thanks under my sweater.

i have moon-bright-trust tucked under cover.

i have a chastity belt around my bruised bottom and a sense of safety even though i'm broken.

i have thank you's overdue and your welcome's i haven't felt through.

i have more spirals than i can count.

i have sacred memories i won't write about.

i have mirrors and mirrors and mirrors of love.

i have the wild above and the thick tangled below.

the center throws of now all dancing around my body like flames of infinity i don't need to control.

find me in awe, down on my knees, praying please please please:

shout yes across the ether, and yes into my weathered heart.

yes to the ache in me that pleads to break free from humanity.

find me whispering: this, this, this is it.

stay. it's all okay.

tenderness. cracks. new growth. laughs.

a strange freedom from longing.

a weird sense of belonging

to myself.

small child, still wild, ever-allowed to make messy mistakes and infinite retakes.

all for the sake of feeling at home in myself.

i hold the wealth.

there's nowhere to go.

stay. there's a way to be strong and simple here.

there's a way to clear the need to be anything but free.


love calls me to my natural height.