2010 was the most love-filled year I can remember. It wasn't without tears or anxiety or complete nervous breakdowns. There were plenty of those! But for each one, there were equal nights standing at the kitchen counter holding a dear one's hand as one of us shed those tears or confessed our aching. There was communion and listening and no-words-needed and just the right touch. There was real deep love. Love that's taken years to form and grow comfortable in. Love with housemates, best friends, new friends, strangers, Brian, and my very own heart. Love that I am so so thankful for and will never take for granted.
I chose "daring" as my word for 2010, and a daring year it was. I dared to spend a month away, re-learning what it means to feel joy. I dared to quit my soul-sucking marketing job and embrace my inner-educator and entrepreneur. I dared to read my poetry to strangers, sell my art, and begin the vibrancy that is now Small is Beautiful Arts Collective. Brian & I dared to defy norms, having a pot-luck, grass-roots, no isle or officiant, "love-fest" wedding. I dared to take my dreams more seriously in so many ways that are still unfolding as we speak. And I committed, full-heartedly, to our unbelievably daring 7 month bike adventure across and around the USA.
The funny thing is, if 2010 was full of daring experiences even before the bike trip, what could I possibly hope for in 2011?
Power. Power to do or act--to accomplish something. Power to choose how I experience my experiences. Power to change and power to accept. Power to speak and power to inspire. Power to move, push and breathe from one place to another. Power to practice without ever needing to make perfect. Power to believe that even without knowing how, even without feeling strong, even without any certainty or understanding, there is a divine power greater than I that is working on my behalf, and rooting for me (all of us, really) all the way. Power to feel gratitude for all the beauty that surrounds us--but most of all, for the way it emboldens us with courage to step into every ounce of divinity we carry.
2010, thanks for such big love. 2011, I'm ready for you. I'm ready for your power.