there is a rope that we are all tied to

there is a rope that we are all tied to

it begins past where the eye can see

and ends further than the sun's farthest star

i do not know what made it so 

that we

are tied to this rope

most of the time

i don't even 

remember,

my body

can't even feel

its cling to me,

i can't even feel

my body

it's a problem

it's a misery

last night, even, i had a dream

i was tied to a lover

we were tied to each other

and we were sobbing

and then laughing

and then sobbing

and then laughing

we were floating

in a dark abyss

far, as far as we could float

from that rope 

and still hold

to each other

something had cut our cords

something had snapped that

spiraling strand

that earthly hemp fray

that held us close to the center
of belonging

god only knows what it was

or when,

what kind of massive force

or tiny flame 

it took

to make us believe

in our minds

that we could ever really float

farther than a star

farther than the eye can see

farther than eternity

so eternally alone

that we have to tie ourselves

to each other

that we have to grasp

and cry out

for forever

it was just a dream

so i know, it was an illusion

that nothing could ever cut that cord

that i could never be untied

from this holy earth

but sometimes that dream

feels like my reality

sometimes i let it 

come and trick me--

i write too much poetry

i go too far into fantasy

i go past the world of make-believe

and i make myself believe

that the underbelly of existence

is my reality:

that i am lost from we 

but there is a rope, still

and i am tied to it

it tied itself to me

like a morning glory 

ties its vines up a tree

it tied itself to me

before there ever was a me 

and every time i try to shake 

myself clean

i shake myself lost

i shake myself into 

that terrible dream

i turn myself insane

i erase my humanity

it is scary, i know

to turn and touch that rope

the trembling hands

the swelling throat

the eyes low

humble, 

i know this fear like family--

can i really touch eternity?

is it really in me?

and i can't answer in words
it is too much to speak
so i just let this rope hold me
and i weep
and i weep
and i weep