Thursday, May 6, 2010

the way things change

i've never been good at adjusting to big changes. but i've always been good at creating them. at giving the finger to my current situation that's driving me insane, and opening my arms to possibility. somehow my heart knows that terror is an illusion, and necessity for change is an all-trumping truth. because whenever i begin to feel like Everything Must Change, it's almost always born out of a willingness to own my authenticity. to claim my needs. to be honest about what I've been not-so-honest about.

but damn, does this terror feel real!

it's terrifying, but beautiful. and even on days when i can't wrap my head around the beauty, it's unavoidable. so i'm trying my best to say yes to this quick flip of a switch when my life changes from dark to light. even when i feel like the rope in a tug-of-war between stability and possibility. even when i'm doubtful that my eyes can adjust after spending so long in the dark. i'm throwing in all my chips, hoping that my heart truly holds all the knowing it needs, that possibility really has the courage to win.

what about you? i truly want to know: where does your heart go when it knows it's time for change? how does your soul piece transition together?


jojo116 said...

Hey Rachael
i dont know if you remember me, (johanna Haydon) we did habitat for humanity at towson together at the beginning of freshmen year. i found your blog and just wanted to say i love it and it was just what i needed. i have been feeling a little low today, feeling off, and you have inspired a jump start in me. im learning so much about life and myself and now i am back on my journey.
just wanted to say thanks!

Rachael said...

jo~ of course i remember you! i'm so glad you're embracing your journey... that's really the best we can do. show up & own it... and really learn to love it :)