My friends and I have this casual habit of referring to our life-stages as a "crisis of [fill-in-the-blank]". (I know, I know, negative thinking blah blah blah... It's the fun unenlightened reality, folks). For a while I was in a crisis of faith. Before that, a crisis of sex. Now, I've been moving through a crisis of confidence, and it's exactly why I'm showing up, writing you.
I'm remembering that crises aren't actually crises until we try to control them.
Control, as it relates to crisis, often focuses on locking things down to a stable place. This is good sometimes--good for catching your breath, getting your bearings. But after that, something more magical is desirable, because no one really wants to always live in the land of merely-catching-breath.
Control, as it relates to crisis, often focuses on locking things down to a stable place. This is good sometimes--good for catching your breath, getting your bearings. But after that, something more magical is desirable, because no one really wants to always live in the land of merely-catching-breath.
Introducing Crisis Alchemy: the process of leaning into the friction and discomfort of transformation, and emerging more intelligent and whole.
Back to my confidence crisis for just a moment, then I'm going to tell you exactly how to best apply crisis alchemy.
At this point, I can easily assert that the past seven months have been the most creatively productive of my entire life. And yet, sharing has felt like a surefire trip to the dungeon of doom, ridden with endless opportunity for rejection, disapproval and losing--or worse, being totally overlooked. I write excuse after excuse about why I can't share, and instead, hide out with my creations, offering glances only to the people I know will love me, no matter. Confidence crisis, summed up.
The opportunity for crisis alchemy deliverance? Ask inverse questions.
In my case, the old way, the stuck way, would ask over and over and OVER again, What's the risk of sharing? How might this go wrong? What do I have to lose if I share?
But the new way, the alchemical way, asks the inverse questions:
+What's the risk of not sharing?
+What's in grave danger of not happening if I stay hidden and covert?
+What's the cost of avoiding friction?
You can do the same question-inversion process with whatever crisis you might be amidst. Sex, cash, housing, identity. Flip your normal questions on their back. Walk curiously through the opening. (Hint: our normal questions are usually fear based when we're in crisis mode. That's the reason why we feel like it's a crisis: 'cause terror's taken over creativity).
Some love-based alchemical questions:
+What's the risk of NOT being honest?
+What's the cost of NOT sharing my heart?
+What definitely WON'T happen if I never go for it?
+What happens if I NEVER apologize?
+What happens if I KEEP apologizing?
+Who wins if I walk away? Who wins if I stay?
+What happens if I KEEP apologizing?
+Who wins if I walk away? Who wins if I stay?
+What if anger's good?
+What will definitely happen if I act based on fear?
+What would total faith do, right now?
+What's the price of stalling?
+What's the wisdom of patience?
+Who might I connect with, inspire or impact positively if I step out on a ledge, now?
+What do others not understand, that I know as deep and true wisdom?
+What am I gaining, even if they disagree with me?
+What could budging on my stubbornness do for the good of all?
+What could budging on my stubbornness do for the good of all?
+What if they want to love me? Can I give them the chance?
When I answer questions like these--alchemical and love-based--my true desires are highlighted, rather than the darkness of my fear.
And what I'm constantly having to remind myself about alchemy is this: alchemy happens when you keep your eye on the ball of your desire, instead of focusing on the dark of your fear, or the discomfort of learning how to nail your desire.
Desire inspires practice if you're tapping into it. So ask the alchemical questions, then simply show up to the batting cage. Swing and miss. Swing and hit. Just swing.
The alchemy's in the woosh of trying, once you know what you really wanna try for.
+++
In the spirit of the woosh of trying, and because what I really desire is to SHARE the magic stuff I've created, I've made a handy seven-day digital event called Swing, Damn It. It starts next Monday the 21st, and runs through to Sunday the 27th. Once a day, for seven days, we share our creations, our offerings, our expression.
Head here for the details. It'll be a supportive, fun way to 1) share our magic, 2) meet other awesome creative people and learn about what they're up to, 3) generate togetherness as opposed to competition, and 4) be seen and heard.
Oh, and it's totally free.
Wild love, wild hearts. We got this.
xo,
Rachael
1 comment:
I am breathless with enchantment, enthusiastic rah-rah, opening-hearted thank you. What a gift this is - you are. How did I not know you?
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