Crisis Control vs Crisis Alchemy, and an Invitation to Show Up and Swing

My friends and I have this casual habit of referring to our life-stages as a "crisis of [fill-in-the-blank]". (I know, I know, negative thinking blah blah blah... It's the fun unenlightened reality, folks). For a while I was in a crisis of faith. Before that, a crisis of sex. Now, I've been moving through a crisis of confidence, and it's exactly why I'm showing up, writing you.

I'm remembering that crises aren't actually crises until we try to control them.

Control, as it relates to crisis, often focuses on locking things down to a stable place. This is good sometimes--good for catching your breath, getting your bearings. But after that, something more magical is desirable, because no one really wants to always live in the land of merely-catching-breath.

Introducing Crisis Alchemy: the process of leaning into the friction and discomfort of transformation, and emerging more intelligent and whole.

Back to my confidence crisis for just a moment, then I'm going to tell you exactly how to best apply crisis alchemy.

At this point, I can easily assert that the past seven months have been the most creatively productive of my entire life. And yet, sharing has felt like a surefire trip to the dungeon of doom, ridden with endless opportunity for rejection, disapproval and losing--or worse, being totally overlooked. I write excuse after excuse about why I can't share, and instead, hide out with my creations, offering glances only to the people I know will love me, no matter. Confidence crisis, summed up.

The opportunity for crisis alchemy deliverance? Ask inverse questions.

In my case, the old way, the stuck way, would ask over and over and OVER again, What's the risk of sharing? How might this go wrong? What do I have to lose if I share?

But the new way, the alchemical way, asks the inverse questions:

+What's the risk of not sharing? 
+What's in grave danger of not happening if I stay hidden and covert? 
+What's the cost of avoiding friction?

You can do the same question-inversion process with whatever crisis you might be amidst. Sex, cash, housing, identity. Flip your normal questions on their back. Walk curiously through the opening. (Hint: our normal questions are usually fear based when we're in crisis mode. That's the reason why we feel like it's a crisis: 'cause terror's taken over creativity).

Some love-based alchemical questions:

+What's the risk of NOT being honest?

+What's the cost of NOT sharing my heart?

+What definitely WON'T happen if I never go for it?

+What happens if I NEVER apologize? 
+What happens if I KEEP apologizing?
+Who wins if I walk away? Who wins if I stay?

+What if anger's good?

+What will definitely happen if I act based on fear?

+What would total faith do, right now?

+What's the price of stalling?

+What's the wisdom of patience?

+Who might I connect with, inspire or impact positively if I step out on a ledge, now?

+What do others not understand, that I know as deep and true wisdom?

+What am I gaining, even if they disagree with me?
+What could budging on my stubbornness do for the good of all?

+What if they want to love me? Can I give them the chance?

When I answer questions like these--alchemical and love-based--my true desires are highlighted, rather than the darkness of my fear.

And what I'm constantly having to remind myself about alchemy is this: alchemy happens when you keep your eye on the ball of your desire, instead of focusing on the dark of your fear, or the discomfort of learning how to nail your desire. 

Desire inspires practice if you're tapping into it. So ask the alchemical questions, then simply show up to the batting cage. Swing and miss. Swing and hit. Just swing.

The alchemy's in the woosh of trying, once you know what you really wanna try for.

+++

In the spirit of the woosh of trying, and because what I really desire is to SHARE the magic stuff I've created, I've made a handy seven-day digital event called Swing, Damn It. It starts next Monday the 21st, and runs through to Sunday the 27th. Once a day, for seven days, we share our creations, our offerings, our expression.

Head here for the details. It'll be a supportive, fun way to 1) share our magic, 2) meet other awesome creative people and learn about what they're up to, 3) generate togetherness as opposed to competition, and 4) be seen and heard.

Oh, and it's totally free.

Wild love, wild hearts. We got this.
xo,
Rachael

Declaration of Interdependence : Ground Zero of the Togetherness Revolution

This is a declaration of humble grand simple humanness, in which it is hereby stated that we know this as truth: the real magic, the greatest magic of all, is giving everything to each other. Not hoarding for ourselves in our bomb shelters of fear, but offering our gifts, mixing and melting into collaborations born from true inspiration and insight that we are able to do something beautiful, something noble, something for others that brings them joy or peace, something for ourselves that feeds our power to give more, to celebrate more, to praise more the wildness of life. Because giving, celebrating, praising--they're the gold we never knew we always had. The magic that requires no spells, just letting go and calling out, "How can I help?" "Hallelujah!" Hooooo, baby, lookin' good!"

A movement has taken hold. A movement of people building a truly sustainable container for human thriving, based on four key pillars: personal practices, loving friendship, sustainable environments, and the best use of the Internet. The combination of these ingredients is creating a togetherness like never before; one that is changing the landscape of humanity as we know it, making way for a love-based aliveness of a whole new caliber.


1. PERSONAL PRACTICES. Our movement is rooted in personal practices that foster:

• physical health, vitality and sensuality
• emotional resilience, appreciation and expression
• mental clarity, ease and creativity
• spiritual wisdom and remembrance

2. LOVING FRIENDSHIP. Our movement is rooted in friendship that loves in the languages of:

• sharing our gifts and resources
• honoring ourselves and each other for our natural gifts, as well as struggles
• shamelessness & honesty
• devotion to staying through the thick of mortality, with laughter, dancing & helping hands

3. NURTURING ENVIRONMENTS. Our movement is rooted in nurturing home and work environments that facilitate:

• the health of the body
• accessibility to friendship as well as solitude
• connection with (and fostering of) the magic of the earth

4. INTERWEBS. Our movement is supported by the best use of the Internet as:

• a tool for rapid connection and cross pollination of these ideas
• a means for facilitating a whole new way

A way of never-before-so-possible, but now almost inevitable. A way in which love, compassion and the integrity of humanitarianism ensures that our whole human family is fed and housed, healing violence, and creating abundant opportunities for connection, joy and peace. A way in which this insurance of togetherness, this deep sense of the human family, is the new norm we never knew was actually possible until it rose up in us like our first human-family orgasm.

In this Declaration of Interdependence, let it be known that I was half asleep while writing, therefore it was more like plucking words, one by one, like stars from the sky of our collective dreamland. Perhaps interdependence is a dream. Perhaps togetherness is our deepest dream, underneath all the climbing for personal acclaim. Perhaps we simply want to make it, and we secretly wish that we didn't have to be alone at the top of the mountain (or the bottom, for that matter).

This Declaration is an invitation. You can have this dream if you want it: the dream for our togetherness. You can walk toward it, run toward it, dance in it, awaken it like a sleeping dragon. You can INSIST that we are smart enough, caring enough, and committed enough, to create awesome new ways of honor and sustainability that support the masses of humanity... and we can do so by: 1) helping each other unlock our passions and come into our magic, and 2) reminding ourselves and each other that our magic is here to service the whole of humanity, the whole of existence. 

This fire, this persistence, when infused with the real practice of wild love, will burn down the way it was. We will rise, together, and wipe the ash off each other's backs. We can have togetherness. We can belong--to the earth, to each other, to our bodies, inside the great gorgeous mystery of life. We already do. May we remain in awareness, in remembrance of our intelligent capacity, our courageous willingness, our supportive tools, and our loving manifestation of our highest destiny as humans: peaceful, thriving, glorious and gorgeous interdependence.

I love you. I love you so much. Let's be together.
Love,
Rachael

Surprise Me

today will go down in the history books
as the umteenth time
i let the five year old girl i nanny
fuel my sleepless body
with the silly folly of dancing to billy joel

it will go down on record
as the hundredth time
i'm hung over on heartbreak--
i've gotten smarter, by now,
at drinking lots of water
while cracking, crying
calling on each others courage

today will go down as the third time, maybe fourth
that i looked myself in the mirror--
after sleeping in my clothes from the night before--
and said, "grow up, kid.
it won't kill your spirit."

today, was the fifth time i burned all my little dreams.
floated ashes down the stream
whispered silently to the hot summer sky,
"surprise me.
surprise me."

Young Love Revival : Baby It's You

the age of earnest eager love is not dead
i am not too old and knowing
too bruised from showing my interest
to show up and kiss you three songs longer
than what would make me strong
and untouchable

i will not be untouchable
behind a locked glass case
i will be breakable
and you will see it on my face
not with fear, but with that
young brave smear of ready for more
hot cheeks on yours
open doors
generous gestures

i will call in sick for you
i will detail my history for you
i will write new rules for you
that have nothing to do my wounds
and everything to do with what i want to do:

love you, like love is new
like i haven't been so bruised
like we can choose
to stay past the fear of staying too long
i will lean in, and i will hum this song:

you're the one i love
you're the one i need
you're the only one i see
come on, baby, it's you!*

i will stand belly to belly with you
forehead to forehead with you
nose to nose with you
and i will whisper my earnest eager truth:
baby, it's you.

*from beyonce's, love on top

Make Your Art

Make Your Art from Rachael Maddox on Vimeo.

because the flow is healthy for your heart
because creation > consumption
because there's room in the world for your fullest expression
because braving the practice of seeing yourself makes space for others to see you, too
because art's relatable, and we all wanna feel the truth of our togetherness
because you can, damn it, so just do it
because once upon a time you were young and feared not the "good-enough" syndrome, and that part of you is still alive, ready with a vengeance to make up for lost time
because art Accesses Reasonless Truth, and the world is in need of this kind of wisdom
because avoiding your art is avoiding your power
because your soul is exquisite, simple as it is, and your art is its earnest showcase
because i personally want a window for loving you deeper