When It's Time to Move On: Four Powerful Questions for Honoring All That's Been

How do you really move on?

I've been meditating on this question for months. It's a biggie. And there's no simple answer. The dance between moving forward and sinking in is delicate after major life blow-ups or slow-burn let downs.

Yesterday, I offered a Tough-Love letter template for when you know it's time to move forward. Today's questions are more of the sinking in variety. Contemplate. Reflect on where you've been and what you've learned. Make meaning. Make inner-peace. And reach inward for clues about where you're headed next.

Four Powerful Questions for moving through big transitions with honesty and grace:

1. Where have I been?
What land am I leaving? What happened there and with whom? What's been significant? How has it felt? Metaphorically and truly? You don't have to forget. You can tell the story of the way it's been. You can honor what's happened--because it did. It happened. It really happened. Be honest. All the way.

2. What do I want to forgive?
In myself? Others? The world? The simple-way-it-was that I'm ready to lay to rest? The idea that got killed? The let down? You don't have to hold on. You can let the rage in your heart unwind. You can breathe into who you are now because of all the things you never wanted to be so. And you can forgive the parts of yourself you still don't adore. It's all in motion. Everything's progress.

3. What do I want to celebrate?
In myself? Others? The world? What deserves an applause or bow? Who or what do I normally dismiss, downplay or deny? What am I most proud of? You don't have to hate it all. You can cry tears of joy for what was good. You can laugh and dance, hoot and holler, simply smirk over that one tiny moment no one knows about but you.

4. What am I calling in?
What's next? Tangible and intangible? How do I want to feel? Who am I becoming? Metaphorically and truly? You don't have to hold on to old dreams, old hopes. You can listen for what's calling you now, put words to intuitive hunches--deep and raw desires. A new context of self awaits you. You're already becoming it, always. 

~~~~~

These questions are heart opening, so give yourself some sacred time to dive in. Write your answers as you will. In a letter to yourself, on tiny slips of paper, on the bathtub tiles with your fingertips. 

Fortunately for us, today's a really wonderful time to meditate on these questions. It's the second lunar eclipse of the year, and lunar eclipses usually mark endings or culmination points. Perfect for sinking into the truth of what's profound and obvious now, after a deep exploration of heart and soul. Ruminate, sweethearts. Let the truth simmer sweetly.

Honor, Celebrate, Forgive, Envision.

Madlove to you, deep & wide... and all my trust in your journey,

Rachael

When you fear yourself... and there's nowhere else to turn.

Turn in.

What's asking to be born?
What part of you, in hiding, is just dying to see the light of day?
Who would you let yourself be, if you knew you'd be loved unconditionally?

Your partner, lover, friends, family--they won't always know how to love you without pause.
But hiding does not make you immune from judgement.
Denying who you are does not free you up to be liked, loved, admired, or praised.

It's a ruthless world of energy and emotion.
Our happiness, our joy, our satisfaction--is because we choose to open.
--Open to all that we are, all that is, all that will be and has been.
We open authentically, with acceptance, tenderness and love blazing the trail.

It's not an easy opening, always. Especially not at first.
New habits take time and practice.
But closing off is no safe bet, either. 

After all, you may know the impulsive rage of constantly fidgeting for the next distraction.
You may know the fatigue that comes when you never stop swimming.
You may know the disappointment that comes when you never dive in at all.

And then, there's opening.
There's learning how to be with every impossibly beautiful and unlikely but loveable part of yourself.
There's learning that there's no real difference between one thing and the next.
We're all made up of love--all of us--every part.

That's why when I coach, I almost always ask my clients to be with this question:

If I loved and accepted every part of who I am, what would I stand to gain?

Journal on this question for 30 days, I tell them. Walk with it. Let it sink into your psyche just as you're about to go back into auto-pilot. See what shifts for you. For me, this tiny question moves mountains--opens me to a resounding truth on a pathway toward my next bold move.

from a cozy couch with quiet rain fall behind me and this song on repeat...
madlove and sweetness,
rachael

To Roll In On Your Last Drop of Fuel

It's a magical act. One that takes heaps of faith and even more heaps of complete surrender. If I never get there, I'll get somewhere else. The Universe will send help if I really need it. I'll make it if I'm meant to.

In time, you will get impressively good at letting go of how things should be. In the process, you will learn that there is absolutely nothing gratifying in pretending to be or feel anything but sincere. This is exhausting at first because you're not used to being so true, but it quickly becomes you're biggest energy save of all. Soon, people start to see the unfiltered you. You begin attracting connections you've longed for all these years. Even the people you thought had no eyes for seeing, are reflecting the most honest of sights. Soon, you are called to step into your vision by those you most admire. And you are received in fullness...unbelievably so, after so much time chugging along, wondering if anyone wanted what you had to give. Wondering if you'd ever really see what you were made of.

Soon enough, you will arrive where your people have been waiting with balloons and watermelon and songs from the soul of the earth. You will lie on cool ground under a blanket of clouds and stars, and you will listen as the crickets cheer and grasses clap. Every bit of your journey has mattered, they say. Nothing has happened in vein. The moon will hold your heart like no lover ever could. And you will know that every lonely night of longing was leading to this deep celebration.

For jl, jb, dr & tg. Everything you long for is on its sweet way.